My Life

I am the mommy of Michelle, Ashleigh and Samanthia. The state of utah snatched them from me in July of 2001. The Last time I was allowed to see them was January 8, 2002. Not a day goes by that they are not in my thoughts. They were sold out of foster care here for financial insentive. I miss you three so much and can't wait til the day you can come find me.

Monday, November 8, 2010

Jul 16, 2009
Current mood:cranky

Waking up this morning...


Waking up this morning with the realization that last night was eight years since our last goodnight kiss, tuck in, watching you sleep as I check on you one last time before I close my eyes. Eight years ago today, I woke you, fed you, helped pick out your clothes for the day, brushed your hair,dropped you off at daycare and spent the rest of the day with the "thing" that shattered our world. It should have been our day....Instead?
I should be happy and gratful for Emma, and I am, but it in NO WAY eases the pain of being away from you three. It's not fair to her to have such a sad mommy. She deserves the mommy you three had before moving to this hell hole. I don't know how to be that mommy anymore. I hold her in my arms. I watch her sleep and can think only of you girls. Do you ever think of me? Do you even remember me?

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