My Life

I am the mommy of Michelle, Ashleigh and Samanthia. The state of utah snatched them from me in July of 2001. The Last time I was allowed to see them was January 8, 2002. Not a day goes by that they are not in my thoughts. They were sold out of foster care here for financial insentive. I miss you three so much and can't wait til the day you can come find me.

Saturday, July 2, 2011

WHEN YOU THOUGHT I WASN'T LOOKING

A message every adult should read because children
are watching you and doing as you do, not as you say.

When you thought I wasn't looking I saw you hang my
first painting on the refrigerator, and I immediately
wanted to paint another one.

When you thought I wasn't looking I saw you feed a
stray cat, and I learned that it was good to be kind
to animals.

When you thought I wasn't looking I saw you make my
favorite cake for me, and I learned that the little
things can be the special things in life.

When you thought I wasn't looking I saw you make a
meal and take it to a friend who was sick, and I
learned that we all have to help take care of each other.

When you thought I wasn't looking I saw you take care
of our house and everyone in it, and I learned we have
to take care of what we are given.

When you thought I wasn't looking I saw how you
handled your responsibilities, even when you didn't
feel good, and I learned that I would have to be
responsible when I grow up.

When you thought I wasn't looking I saw tears come
from your eyes, and I learned that sometimes things
hurt, but it's all right to cry.

When you thought I wasn't looking I saw that you
cared, and I wanted to be everything that I could be.

When you thought I wasn't looking I learned most of
life's lessons that I need to know to be a good and
productive person when I grow up.

When you thought I wasn't looking I looked at you and
wanted to say,'Thanks for all the things I saw when
you thought I wasn't looking'

Life is a Gift

Life Is a Gift

Today..........
Before you say an unkind word - Think of someone who can't
Speak.
Before..........
You complain about the taste of your food - Think of someone
Who has nothing to eat.
Before..........
You complain about your husband or wife - Think of someone
who's crying out to GOD for a companion.
Today..........
Before you complain about life - Think of someone who went
Too early to heaven.
Before..........
Whining about the distance you drive Think of someone who
Walks the same distance with their feet.
And when........
You are tired and complain about your job - Think of the
Unemployed, the disabled, and those who wish they had your job.
And when
Depressing thoughts seem to get you down - Put a smile on
Your face and think: you're alive and still
Around.

Two Wolves

one evening an old cherokee told his grandson about a battle that goes on inside people - he said, "my son, the battle's between two 'wolves' inside us all`one's evil - it's anger, envy, jealousy, sorrow, regret, greed, arrogance, self-pity, guilt, resentment, inferiority, lies, false pride, superiority & ego`one's good - it's joy, peace, love, hope, serenity, humility, kindness, benevolence, empathy, generosity, truth, compassion & faith`the grandson thought about it for a minute & then asked his grandfather, "which wolf wins?"`the old cherokee simply replied, "the one that wins, is the one you feed"

Heaven is Never Too Far

Her hair was up in a ponytail
Her favorite dress tied with a bow
Today was Daddy's Day at school
And she couldn't wait to go.
But her mommy tried to tell her,
That she probably should stay home.
Why the kids might not understand,
If she went to school alone.
But she was not afraid;
She knew just what to say.
What to tell her classmates
Of why he wasn't there today.
But still her mother worried,
For her to face this day alone.
And that was why once again,
She tried to keep her daughter home.
But the little girl went to school,
Eager to tell them all.
About a dad she never sees,
A dad who never calls.
There were daddies along the wall in back,
For everyone to meet
Children squirming impatently,
Anxious in their seats.
One by one the teacher called,
Each student from the class.
To introduce their daddy,
As seconds slowly passed.
At last the teacher called her name,
Every child turned to stare.
Each of them was searching,
For a man who wasn't there.
"Where's her daddy at?"
She heard a boy call out.
"She probably doesn't have one"
Another student dared to shout.
And from somewhere near the back,
She heard a daddy say,
"Looks like another deadbeat dad,
Too busy to waste his day."
The words did not offened her,
As she smiled up at her mom.
And looked back at her teacher,
Who told her to go on.
And with hands behind her back,
Slowly she began to speak.
And out from the mouth of a child,
Came words incredibly unique.
"My daddy couldn't be here,
Because he lives so far away.
But I know he wishes he could be,
Since this is such a special day.
And though you cannot meet him,
I wanted you to know.
All about my daddy,
And how much he loves me so.
He loved to tell me stories
He taught me to ride my bike.
He surprised me with pink roses,
And taught me to fly a kite.
We used to share fudge sundaes,
and ice cream in a cone.
And though you cannot see him,
I'm not standing here alone.
Cause my daddy's always with me
Even though we are apart.
I know because he told me,
He'll forever be in my heart."
With that, her little hand reached up,
and lay across her chest.
Feeling her own heartbeat,
Beneath her favorite dress.
And from somewhere in the crowd of dads,
Her mother stood in tears.
Proudly watching her daughter,
Who was wise beyond her years.
For she stood up for the love
Of a man not in her life.
Doing what was best for her,
Doing what was right.
And when she dropped her hand back down,
Staring straight into the crowd.
She finished with a voice so soft,
But its message clear and loud.
"I love my daddy very much,
He's my shining star.
And if he could he'd be here,
But heaven's just too far.
You see he was a fireman
And died just this past year.
When airplanes hit the towers
And taught Americans to fear.
But sometimes when I close my eyes,
It's like he never went away."
And then she closes her eyes,
And saw him there that day.
And to her mother's amazement,
She witnessed with surprise.
A room full of daddies and children,
All starting to close their eyes.
Who knows what they say before them,
Who knows what they felt inside.
Perhaps for merely a second,
They saw him at her side.
"I know you're with me Daddy."
To the silence she called out.
And what happened next made believers,
Of those once filled with doubt.
Not one in that room could explain it,
For each of their eyes had been closed.
But there on the desk beside her,
Was a fragrant long-stemmed pink rose.
And a child was blessed, if only for a moment,
By the love of her shining bright star.
And given the gift of believing,
That heaven is never too far

Who Would You Invite In?


A woman came out of her house and saw three old men with long white beards sitting in her front yard. She did not recognize them. She said, "I don't think I know you, but you must be hungry. Please come in and have something to eat.""Is the man of the house home?" they asked."No," she said. "He's out.""Then we cannot come in," they replied.In the evening when her husband came home, she told him what had happened. "Go tell them I am home and invite them in," replied the husband.The woman went out and invited the men in."We don't go into a house together," they replied."Why is that?" she wanted to know.One of the old men explained, "His name is Wealth," he said pointing to one of his friends. Then he said, pointing to another one, "He is Success and I am Love." Then he added, "Now go in and discuss with your husband which one of us you want in your home."The woman went in and told her husband what was said.Her husband was overjoyed. "How nice!" he said. "Since that is the case, let us invite Wealth. Let him come and fill our home with wealth."His wife disagreed, "My Dear, why don't we invite Success?"Their daughter was listening from the other corner of the house. She jumped in with her own suggestion, "Would it not be better to invite Love? Our home will be filled with love.""Let us heed our daughter's advice," said the husband to his wife. "Go out and invite Love to be our guest."The woman went out and asked the three old men, "Which one of you is Love? Please come in and be our guest."Love got up and started walking toward the house. The other two also got up and started following him.Surprised, the lady asked Wealth and Success, "I only invited Love, why are you coming in?"The old men replied together, "If you had invited Wealth or Success the other two of us would've stayed out. Since you invited Love, wherever he goes we go with him. Wherever there is love there is also wealth and success!"
Believe.... It brings everything into the realm of possiblity."

"Life is too short, Grudges are a total waste of happiness. Laugh when you can, Apologize when you should and let go of what you can't change. Love deeply and forgive quickly, Take chances, Give everything and have no regrets. Always forgive never forget, Learn from your mistakes but never regret. Life's to short to be unhappy. You have to take the good with the bad, Smile when your sad, Love what you got...And above all always remember what you had." I love you girls!

"How peaceful life would be without love, how safe, how tranquil and how dull."
...-Sean Connery, The Name of the Rose

‎"There is a sacredness in tears. They are not the mark of weakness, but of power. They speak more eloquently than ten thousand tongues. They are messengers of overwhelming grief...and unspeakable love."
— Washington Irving

Friday, July 1, 2011

My little Artist

I was going through a box full of court documents today when I cam across this picture Michelle drew about 10 years ago. Lets just say I haven't been able to stop crying. I miss you girls so much! I hope and pray that you three are still as happy as you where when Mitchy, as grandma called you, drew this. I Love You Always!

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